Labels

Let me start by thanking you for taking time from YOUR life to read a bit about my life.  My goal in this new blogging adventure is to inspire, comfort and provide joy to all who are reading these words.  

I felt my first post needed to set the stage of my true, authentic life.  You may see the exterior of my life, whether in person, on social media or in friend groups and think it’s nearly perfect.  Don’t get me wrong, my life is very much blessed; however, in recently walking through the fire, I realized we connect beautifully in our struggles.  There is so much to be shared and celebrated when we choose to stand back up and get-at-it after a fall.

My fall was my labeling.  I completely defined my value and myself in my labels of mom, wife and volunteer.  I loved these labels; I felt designed and called to these roles and truly, they fulfilled me.  Until August 2017 when I found out my life was not what I thought it was.  My husband had been living a double life for quite some time.  This news started the unraveling of my labels and my self-worth.  Was I not the wife I thought I was?  Was I not a good enough wife?  This bled over onto my label as a mom.  I believed my job as a mom was to keep my family together, keep them safe and protected, and this was now unstable as well.  I felt like a fraud. What kind of a mom isn’t even aware it’s happening?  Should I still be holding volunteer leader positions?  Did this news disqualify me to serve in my community and in my church?

I spent the past (nearly) two years wrestling with and redefining the value of the labels I put on myself.   My hope is that you will take a look at the labels you put on yourself as well.  Do you define your worth by a label or title?  If that label were removed, would you know who you are?  I have learned that I, just as I am, am loved, worthy and valuable.  I don’t have to wear the label of mom, wife or anything else to know this.  All of my labels are enhancements of how God has already made me – wonderfully.  You too are wonderfully made – we can rest in this and stop giving too much weight to the labels we choose.

As this is being posted, I am still wrestling with my labels, marriage and life, as both of my daughters will be in college this fall.  Each morning I start my day with a prayer that God will remind me that I am greatly loved and worthy, even when the negative reality of a part of my life creeps in.  My family will always be a family regardless of the label that is put on my marriage.  I fiercely love my husband and daughters, and am committed to finding joy and healing in each new day.  It is my hope for you too!

Below are some amazing resources that have helped me in my journey.  Also, please feel free to reach out to me if you are in the San Diego (North County) area and in need of a support group.  Through great friendships, we have wonderful referrals for AA, Grief (loss of a loved one) and SA support groups.

Book: (for those struggling with loss of any kind):  

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst

Verses: 

Psalm 139:14 (NIV version)

Psalm 63:3 (ERV version – a great version on the Holy Bible app)

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV version)

Songs: 

“Known” by Tauren Wells

“Me Too” by Meghan Trainor (this one will pump you up!)

Netflix: Brene Brown’s The Call to Courage

Devotional: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young