I think this is one of the most difficult posts I have shared as it requires me to overcome a wall of fear. Many of you have been with me on this blogging journey during these past 11 months and I cannot thank you enough for your support. It all began with the sad news that my marriage had taken a huge hit (see blog post: “Labels”). To be honest, I did not think it would or even needed to survive. It felt dead and in reality, it was – it had died over a decade ago and I had no clue. One question that is asked often to women in my situation is “are you going to stay in your marriage?”. This question really bothered me, until I realized it did not apply to me. My husband had left a long time ago – there was not a marriage to “stay” in. Having this clarity, was so freeing.
Fast forward to today and I am so proud of the work that both my husband and I have put into healing from the ugly past, co-parenting our girls (who were also blindsided) and our commitment to trying marriage again. Not going back and rebuilding the old marriage; but moving forward and starting a new relationship with the tools and faith counseling and support groups have provided us. It is time to put the roles of victim and villain in the past and become the heroes of our own stories. We can no longer live in the hurt of our pasts, co-dependency and unhealthy coping skills that once ruled us. It is time to redefine ourselves and our relationship with Christ first.
My hope is the pain, struggle and work will transfigure our relationship and each other in amazing ways. I recently came across a quote from pastor Craig Groeschel that says, “It’s often the things that no one sees that result in the things that everyone wants.” If you are in a season of struggle, I hope this encourages you to hang in there! Get your mind and soul as healthy as you possibly can and step forward through the fear with faith. I do believe that great things await us on the other side. I’m rooting for you!
Inspiration/Resources:
Bible App Plan: Rebuilding A Marriage Better Than New by Cindy Beall
Verses:
Revelation 21:5 (ERV): “The one who was sitting on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new!’ Then He said, ‘Write this, because these words are true and can be trusted.'”
Romans 15:13 (ERV): “I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace as you trust in Him. Then you will have more and more hope, and it will flow out of you by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Support Groups:
For those of you in the San Diego area, North Coast Church has a wonderful support group for women going through betrayal issues. Please email me at: heynancy@nancydeanne.com and I can get you specific instructions on joining.
Books: (The following 3 books – along with God – saved me during the worst times)
The Healing Choice Guidebook (Volume I & II) by Susan Allen
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Special Note: My hope in sharing this story is that you will know you are not alone in your struggles (whether it is in your marriage or other areas of life). It is not my intention to blast mine or my husband’s personal information for attention or other’s curiosity but to share in the hopes of helping others.
Congratulations for seeing every aspect of your life through while always acknowledging you were never alone in this journey. God’s got your back and your every step as you continue your faithful journey. I am looking forward to Chapter 2! Thank you for including us so that we too might learn, prosper, support and encourage.
Love you!
Love you Cynthia! Thank you so much for being with me on this journey! You are a beautiful encourager and friend!
Beautiful words, hard work and turning to God, you inspire me. Much love.
Love you Leslee! Thank you so much 🙂
I am so happy for you and your family. xoxo
Thank you Whitney! And a special thank you for all of your support and love!!
You are such an inspiration. I love you post and your faith. You are both string and vulnerable.
Thank you Kim! Love you and appreciate your friendship so much!
You are an inspiration, Nancy! Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing. I am so happy for you, Mike and the girls!
Thank you Lori! Big hugs to you 🙂
Nancy! I am soooo happy for all of you! You have worked so hard to get to where you are today and I commend you! I love you! xoxoxo
Love you girl! So thankful to know you and call you friend! 🙂
Your marriage is such a beautiful thing bringing Glory to God and hope to others! What a miracle and amazing answer to prayer. I’m sure this has been the hardest work of your life. Love you Nancy and Mike. Aunt Dee Dee
Love you! Thank you for being a beautiful role model for me!
I am so proud of you Nancy! And praying over this next chapter. Our God is in the business of restoration my friend, but the work of tearing away all the broken pieces is hard. Well done! May our Lord build something beautiful. You know I celebrate each victory no matter the size. Today I celebrate your willingness to try and courage to share.
Love you beautiful!
Thank you Ellen. You were one of the first to “catch” me in my free-fall and I can’t thank you enough for being a leader for our group. Love you my friend!
So proud of you and all your inspiration. You are strong and an inspiration to all. Love you so much. Proud to call you my sister ❤️
I love you Destiny! Thank you so much 🙂
Beautiful Blog Post today Nancy. I wish I had your strength and resilience and help when i went through this with Brian. You keep being your beautiful self. XO
Thank you Tracy! I love you my friend!
I am in awe of you and Mike for the work and dedication you share in making your marriage and lives whole again. Your courage is inspiring, and your bravery is undeniable.
Thank you for your kind words Debbie! It’s been such a long road (as you know!).
You really are one of the strongest people I know. Even when faced with the unimaginable you put your faith in God to show you your path and have clawed your way thru where many wouldn’t have.
Thank you so much Amy! Love you my friend 🙂
You are insanely beautiful inside and out. xo
Thank you so much Dyanna!